


Right or Wrong

by existential1rony



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, Partners in Crime, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:21:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22430227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/existential1rony/pseuds/existential1rony
Summary: What would happen if Hailey heard out Voight's advice in 7x12, but not in the exact way that it was intended? What would she do when she finds herself outside of Jay's door late at night? Maybe this was the catalyst they needed.
Relationships: Jay Halstead & Hailey Upton, Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton
Comments: 1
Kudos: 68





	Right or Wrong

**[Disclaimer: It pains me that I have to do this because I sadly still have hope in humanity and morals, but alas... It's been brought to my attention that some people have been stealing my stories. I ONLY post on FanFiction and ArchiveofourOwn... so if you come across anything of mine on Wattpad or any of the socials, please report it. Thank you! And to the offenders, be better people!]**

* * *

As they stand in the freezing cold, the remnants of snowfall surrounding them, Hailey Upton realizes one thing- she needs to get away from Jay Halstead as soon as possible. She knows he's right and that he just wants to protect her, but for now she can't see past avenging Cameron. It's her only focal point at the moment, even if she lives to regret it… even if it means that ratting out Darius to the Southside Hustlers gets him killed.

Being around Jay is just drudging up too many emotions right now. She doesn't want to _feel_ , she just wants the anger to keep forcing her through. After the past couple months, first losing Cameron, and then almost losing Jay, the anger feels infinitely better than the sadness and fear she had been holding onto. The two latter had almost consumed her and right now, she'd surely take the former. As much as it pains her to walk away from Jay and his emotional speech, she knows she has to. There's only so much her sanity can handle in one week.

She nods at him and tries to reassure him. "I'm okay, Jay."

He stares back at her, swallowing sadly. She can tell he's holding back from speaking more.

"Go home, okay?" she says softly as she places her hand on his upper chest, hoping it will comfort him that she's fine. His eyes bore into hers and she knows she has to walk away as quickly as possible before she changes her mind.

She had almost escaped when he reached out and grabbed her. His hand slid down her arm and into hers, and as he held tightly he said, "Come with me…"

His voice was soft and pleading and she heard the yearning there. She felt her heart constrict and she _almost_ caved. It would be so simple to just step into his arms and let him comfort her, but she knows it's not the time. Not like this. She doesn't have the strength to let him in right now, she feels like she'll break if she does.

" _I can't…_ " she whispers back remorsefully and gently pries her hand from his.

As she turns to walk away again she can sense his eyes staring into her soul, the hopefulness in them now being filled by sorrow much like at the hospital. She swallows hard and continues on, she can't think of regrets right now. As she reaches her car she feels the tears start to fall, but she opens the door and drives off anyway. One glance in her mirror and she sees Jay still sadly standing there in the cold just watching her run away again…

* * *

A day later finds Darius Walker brutally murdered on a pool table, eight-ball shoved in his mouth and a dead rat hanging over him. Hailey wishes she could feel remorse over it, feel _anything_ , but the truth is his death means nothing to her. As far as she's concerned, he got what he deserved. Not only was he responsible for the death of Cameron, but just recently six other people, and countless upon countless others. She's running with this feeling until her conversation with Voight. And as she sits in her car, contemplating her next move, she hears his words over and over:

_You do something like this, you don't turn that part off; it will eat you alive…_

He is right about one thing. Maybe she hasn't learned yet to turn off her caring morals, but she learned a long time ago how to turn off certain things; certain _feelings_. She managed to keep them buried until she thought she could lose Jay and Vanessa took it as her opportunity to call Hailey out on it. She still denied it as much as she could. Of course she loved Jay, he was her partner… but deep down they both knew she was fooling herself. Which made her realize that maybe it was time to fess up? She almost did too, and she probably would have if it hadn't been for that stupid phone call Jay got from Angela's son. Now weeks have gone by and she managed to turn off those emotions again, except that now she notices how he feels it too. She senses it in the way he looks at her, the way he talks to her, the way he tries to protect her… which she realizes is no different now than how it's been for a while. Just how long had they been running from each other? She turns off her car and pulls the key out of the ignition, finally deciding enough was enough. She makes her way up the familiar walkway to his apartment and takes a deep breath before she rings his bell. It's already past 11, but she knows he'll be up. His various worried texts to her a couple hours ago prove that he won't be sleeping until he knows she's okay.

Jay opens the door in his sweats, the familiar look already in his eyes. He doesn't look surprised to see her and he just lets her walk inside, neither needing to say a word. It's not until she shrugs her coat off and they head towards his living room that Jay finally speaks.

"Are you alright?" his voice filled with concealed sentiments.

She turns to face him and just looks up studying his face. He stares straight into her soul and it sends a shiver down her spine. She opens her mouth to say something but stops, and then it's his turn to study her. He wants to tread lightly through these waters so he doesn't scare her away again.

"Yeah, I'm good…" she finally replies.

He looks like he's about to question her some more, but she stops him. She's here for a reason and she intends to face it head on for once. She refuses to chicken out again.

"Actually, there is something…" she says softly and watches him listen intently. "Voight told me I didn't have it in me to turn my emotions off, and it just reminded me of the biggest emotion I've been trying to suppress…"

"And what's that?" Jay asks hoarsely as he raises his brow at her when she steps even closer to him.

They're barely an inch apart when she reaches her hand up to cup his cheek. He gasps softly, but makes no other move, allowing her to take the lead. She softly strokes her thumb over his jaw.

" _This…_ " she whispers out before forcing his head down to hers.

Jay's hesitancy lasts no more than a second before he responds to her forceful lips on his. The kiss is all-consuming and she's 100% convinced she's never felt anything like it. She wraps her arms around his neck and she feels him deepen the connection, when his tongue brushes against hers she swears she sees stars behind her eyelids. After a few minutes, both breathless, he slowly pulls back and stares into her eyes. Each of them sharing so much with just that simple look.

"Are you sure?" his husky voice breaking through her haze.

"I've never been more sure about anything!" she assures him, then to prove it she lowers her hands to his waist and lifts his shirt off of him. She runs her hands slowly up his chest, briefly stopping to softly touch his bullet scar with her fingertips.

He groans then smashes his lips back onto hers, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her easily. She wraps her legs around him as he walks them to the bedroom. As they fall onto the bed together, every fear and anxiety over the past several months and years disappear, taken over by complete and utter bliss. It's taken nearly three years, but they finally allow every single feeling for the other in, showing the other all the love they have in the most passionate way possible.

A few hours later as they're cuddled up together falling in and out of sleep, completely exhausted in the best way but neither wanting the night to end; Hailey allows Jay to see another naked side of her.

"What if Voight was right?" she whispers into his chest as she lays on it. _"What if I can't live with myself…"_

Jay softly strokes her bare arm as he responds, "Then we'll get through it together, like we always do!"

She tilts her head to look at his face and all she sees is love reflecting back as he leans down and kisses her softly. And she knows he was right yesterday- good or bad, right or wrong, none of it matters as long as they have each other…

* * *

_[A/N: I really hope these last couple of Upstead moments the past few episodes are the catalyst for getting them together. I so wish we got an end scene between them in the last episode, after Hailey's talk with Hank. I think this is their slow plan to push Upstead together, I just don't know when it's going to happen. I think it has to be this season at this point, they're teasing it too much, so hopefully it happens. In the mean time, I had to get this out to help me through. Hope you enjoy and thank you for reading! I love suffering with you all at least ;) ]_


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